Understanding Anxiety: How to Calm Your Mind, Stop Overthinking & Regulate Your Nervous System | Let's Get Emotional

In this episode of Let's Get Emotional, hosts Tatiana Rojas and Dr. Jennifer Martin Schantz explore one of the most common yet misunderstood human emotions: anxiety. While anxiety is often viewed as something to eliminate, this episode explains how anxiety is actually a normal protective response designed to keep us safe and what happens when that system becomes overactive or dysregulated. 

If you've ever struggled with chronic worry, racing thoughts, panic, overthinking, or feeling constantly on edge, this conversation provides practical, research-backed insights into what's happening inside your brain and body. Tatiana and Jennifer explain the psychology and neuroscience of anxiety, including how the amygdala, prefrontal cortex, sympathetic nervous system, cortisol, and adrenaline influence the way anxiety feels and why it can be so difficult to "just relax." 

You'll learn the important difference between anxiety and fear, why anxiety is future-oriented, how catastrophic thinking and "what if" loops keep anxiety alive, and how cognitive distortions can make everyday situations feel overwhelming. The hosts also discuss how anxiety presents differently across toddlers, children, teenagers, and adults, helping listeners recognize the emotional, cognitive, and physical signs of anxiety throughout every stage of life. 

Drawing from neuroscience, psychological research, and clinical experience, Tatiana and Jennifer share evidence-based approaches for managing anxiety, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Exposure Therapy, EMDR, mindfulness, grounding exercises, and nervous system regulation. They also introduce simple but powerful tools you can use immediately, including the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique and the WAIT framework to interrupt anxious thought patterns and reconnect with the present moment. 

Whether you're navigating generalized anxiety, panic attacks, health anxiety, social anxiety, trauma recovery, ADHD, chronic stress, burnout, or persistent overthinking, this episode offers compassionate guidance and practical strategies to help you regulate your nervous system, build emotional resilience, and respond to anxiety with greater confidence and self-awareness. 

In This Episode:

•  What anxiety really is and why it's a normal human emotion 
•  The difference between anxiety and fear 
•  How anxiety affects the brain, nervous system, and body 
•  The role of the amygdala, prefrontal cortex, cortisol, and adrenaline 
•  Why catastrophic thinking and "what if" loops fuel anxiety 
•  Common cognitive distortions that increase anxious thinking 
•  How anxiety presents differently in children, teens, and adults 
•  Physical symptoms of anxiety including racing heart, muscle tension, nausea, and insomnia 
•  When anxiety becomes a clinical concern and when to seek professional help 
•  Understanding generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, health anxiety, and social anxiety 
•  Evidence-based treatments including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Exposure Therapy, and EMDR 
•  The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique for calming the nervous system 
•  The WAIT method for responding to anxious thoughts with greater clarity 
•  Practical strategies for emotional regulation, mindfulness, and reducing overthinking 

Links & Resources:
Tatiana Rojas - https://getherapyservices.com/

Let's Get Emotional is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not therapy and does not replace mental health care. If you are in crisis or need immediate support, please contact your local emergency services or a crisis hotline in your area.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Anxiety is not the enemy.

SPEAKER_00 0:01

It's a protective system that can become dysregulated. It's really important to be able to tell our bodies a little bit and acknowledge some of those pieces of like recognizing what's the positive like anxiousness and that what may be the negative pieces that may pop in. And so that just also stood out to me as we were talking a little bit about some of the body experiences too. A lot of us move through life going through the motions and we don't always pause long enough to notice what we're feeling. And when someone asks how we are, it can feel easier to give the polished answer because we're not always sure anyone really wants the honest one. So here we slow it down and name what's real. Welcome to Let's Get Emotional. Let's Get Emotional is an educational podcast hosted by myself, Tatiana Rojas, licensed marriage and family therapist, and Dr.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

Jennifer Martin Schounts. Each episode focuses on one emotion, and today's emotion is anxiety. We break it down in a way that's clear, human, and practical so you can understand what's happening inside you and what to do with it. Our mission is simple. Help you understand what you're feeling, name it with more clarity, and respond in ways that support your life and your relationships.

SPEAKER_00 1:17

This podcast is for education and general information only. It isn't therapy and it doesn't replace mental health care. If you're in crisis or need immediate support, please contact your local emergency services or crisis hotline in your area. You can also reach out to 988 as well via phone or text.

SPEAKER_01 1:35

Let's remind you of some of the definitions we've covered in previous episodes. The first definition is emotions. Emotions are quick automatic reactions that occur in both the body and brain. They act as signals, often appearing before we can even describe them in words. These responses provide information. Your internal system's way of letting you know that something important is happening, such as concerns about safety, connection, fairness, loss, threat, desire, or meaning. Next is feelings. Feelings are your conscious experience of emotions. They are the words you use to name what's happening, plus the meaning you attach to it based on your history, culture, beliefs, and relationships. If an emotion is a body-based signal, a feeling is the label you put on it. Finally, we have moods. Moods are longer-lasting emotional states, more like emotional weather. You can be in an irritable mood, a low mood, or a tender mood for hours or days, sometimes without one clear trigger. Emotions are the spark, feelings are the label, moods are the climate. Now let's talk about our definition of our emotion today: anxiety.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

Yeah. So anxiety is an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts, and physical changes like increased blood pressure. This can also be experienced as an apprehensive uneasiness or nervousness, usually over an impending or anticipated misfortune. So a state of being anxious. This can be mentally distressing with regards to concern or interest. And this can also be a strong desire, sometimes mixed with doubt, fear, or uneasiness. The American Psychological Association notes anxiety as being characterized by apprehension and somatic symptoms of tension in which an individual anticipates impending danger, catastrophe, or misfortune. It may be distinguished from fear both conceptually and physiologically, as it's considered future-oriented, whereas fear is more present-oriented, and the body often mobilizes itself to meet a perceived threat, and therefore the body may respond in different ways, such as muscle tension, increased breathing, an increased heart rate, stomach kind of bubbly and feeling a little off. So some other words used to describe anxiety include concern, which implies a troubled state of mind because of personal interest, relation, or affection. It may include worry, which suggests fretting over matters that may or not be real cause for anxiety. It may also imply great concern and connotates either thoughtful or hovering attentiveness toward another or fear, like we just mentioned. So let's break down some phrases and words that we might use across our time in our lifetime. So anxiety can show up really early, and it often gets misunderstood. A lot of the time, it's not someone being dramatic or difficult, it's their nervous system saying something feels uncertain or unsafe. So let's talk about how toddl might express this. Anxiety might sound really simple and really direct. It's I'm scared, I don't want to, stay with me, don't leave. Or it's I want to go home and get out of the situation, essentially. It may be too loud. I don't like it. I can't. And in their bodies, you usually see it right away. They might cling, hide, cry, or maybe even freeze. Breathing may get faster. Their tummy feels yucky or funny. Their body can get shaky. And sleep for them can get harder. They might have trouble falling asleep, or maybe on occasion waking up more regularly. And sometimes what feels like a tantrum is actually overwhelm. It's anxiety with no words. So what about the older kiddos? Anxiety starts to sound like worry and what if. You'll hear, I'm nervous. What if something bad happens? My stomach hurts. I don't want to go. I can't stop thinking about it. I don't feel safe. Can you check again? I need to know exactly what's going to happen. So excessive questions. And the body signs can be really clear too. Butterflies are not in the stomach, a racing heart, sweaty hands, headaches, maybe even a tight throat. Some kids suddenly need to use the restroom a lot, and it can be harder for them to sit still. So restless energy that doesn't know where to go. Maybe in a buzzing beneath the surface of the skin. For teens, anxiety often gets described as intensity in the mind and body at the same time. They might say I'm anxious, I'm panicking. Might feel like they're on edge. My brain won't stop. I feel weird and I don't know why. I can't breathe right. I feel like something bad is coming. I'm overthinking everything. And physically it can show up as chest tightness, shallow breathing, heart pounding, nausea, or that stomach drop feeling. Some can feel dizziness or feel like things are unreal, like they're not fully in their body. Their jaw and shoulders can get tense. Going numb, avoiding everything because it feels like too much. And finally, for the adults, anxiety can sound like living on alert. I can't relax. I'm on high alert. I'm overwhelmed. I keep running worst-case scenarios. I feel unsettled. I need control or certainty. I can't turn my brain off. I'm racing for something. And then the body anxiety is often tight-chested and short of breath. Maybe it shows up as a racing heart. An increase perhaps even in adrenaline at times. Gut tightness or nausea. Changes in appetite, like you don't want to eat. There's also muscle tension and a clenched jaw. We're feeling anxious at times. We might experience even some insomnia. Or the opposite, fatigue. Irritability or snapping. And sometimes the freeze response where the mind goes blank and you feel stuck. So if you're listening and thinking, yep, that's me or that's my kid, the reminder is this anxiety is often the body's way of trying to keep you safe. And the words and the symptoms might change with the age, but the message underneath it all is usually the same. So now that we've spent some time talking a little bit about the definition and how it might show up in the body and what are some phrases that might be said. What does the research say? All right.

SPEAKER_01 9:06

So research is saying that anxiety is one of the most universal human emotions. Anxiety is not the enemy, it's a protective system that can become dysregulated. Oftentimes, with anxiety, it is this anticipatory fear about a future threat, right? Which is distinguished from fear because fear is that sort of immediate danger, but anxiety is that potential danger. So what does anxiety feel like? And some of this has already been stated, but research supports it that it feels like racing heart, tight chest, might be restlessness feeling or any GI discomfort. Cognitively, we have catastrophic thinking. And I'm going to go back and talk about this in a second. We also get caught up in what if loops and also difficulty concentrating, right? So let's talk about catastrophic thinking for a second. And this looks at when we're automatically jumping to the worst possible outcome. So here's a scenario, just an example. So let's say you text a friend and they don't respond. What starts out as this sort of neutral event, they haven't replied to you yet, can quickly turn into sort of this interpretation shift. Oh, that's weird. Then the catastrophic leap. They must be upset with me. And now we're escalating. I probably said something wrong. And lastly, we're jumping to that worst case scenario. They don't want to be my friend anymore. So when this happens, we have this emotional outcome of anxiety, rejection, sensitivity, rumination. And behaviorally, we go back and we reread the text messages repeatedly. We send multiple follow-ups, and then maybe now we're going to avoid the person and emotionally withdraw. So catastrophic thinking when it comes to anxiety escalates really quickly. And we're going to talk about some ways, some mini tools to kind of help with that in a in a couple of minutes. But I point it out because just something as simple as somebody doesn't respond right away can turn into so much anxiety. The what if loops. Well, what if I did this? What if I said that? What if this, that, those loops can just sometimes be so anxious. Um, and it definitely is going to show up in the body if we sit in that loop of what if. And then also with difficulty concentrating, when we are feeling anxious, right? When our mind is sort of feeling the anxiety, and then our body now feels the anxiety, concentrating is going out the window. We we need to do something else. Um, and getting our mind off of the anxiety is one of the best ways to help manage anxiety. When it comes to emotions, some other emotions connected to anxiety, we have dread, maybe unease or irritability. And then behaviorally, we see avoidance. We are seeking reassurance, and maybe we have some procrastination happening. So I'm gonna just stop there. Dr.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

Yana, any anything you want to add? Yeah, well, I mean, I think you kind of playing out that scenario was likely very helpful, but I know that this is something that often comes up. Um, and I don't think we've talked about it necessarily too much in previous episodes, but like this is really where we start to see some cognitive distortions really kick in. Catastrophizing, jumping to conclusions, all or nothing thinking, and those can really impact some of these loops that we jump into um and kind of deter our thinking and our thought patterns. And so things like I can't recall if you're gonna jump into it, but things like cognitive behavioral therapy become like a really large piece of some of um how to help and support in some ways, because it does give and lead way to some tools and understanding some of where the thoughts are kind of coming from. And so those those things just stood out to me. And I think the other piece that is also standing out as well is, and I didn't, I don't think I necessarily said this earlier too, but there's also like positive anxiousness as well as negative anxiousness, and I think a lot of times we just when we think about anxiety, we think about all of the negative sides of things when also there's very much like that positive future thinking like piece of I'm really excited and I can feel some of the similar feelings of like getting ready to go to an event that I'm really excited about, going to Disneyland, going to like a concert. You might start to also feel similar body experiences as well, um, butterflies, different things when you're thinking about some of those as well. And so it's really important to be able to tell our bodies a little bit and acknowledge some of those pieces of like recognizing what's the positive like anxiousness and that what may be the negative pieces that may pop in. And so that just also stood out to me as we were talking a little bit about some of the body experiences, too.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

Absolutely, yeah. That that positive side of anxiety that sort of drives us um and drives us to maybe succeed or improve or grow. Absolutely, yeah. So some brain structures that um we look at when we talk about anxiety, the amygdala, right? That fear center, there's that threat detection, and this is often overactive when we have anxiety, and then that prefrontal cortex, this is more regulation, right? And it's underactive with chronic anxiety. And then we have the hippocampus, which is context and memory. So when we think about anxiety, especially when anxiety starts to take over our thoughts and our body, our sympathetic nervous system kicks right in, right? And that's where increased heart rate, rapid breathing, muscle tension, we tend to go into fight or flight, fawn or freeze in that sympathetic nervous system activation. And when that happens, we also have hormones. So we have cortisol and adrenaline, especially in fight or flight. And when we are in chronic anxiety, right, we have this prolonged stress response happening, which is a high level of cortisol and a lot of adrenaline running through. So I think something important to kind of point out is when anxiety becomes clinical or when we need help to manage our anxiety, when we're overestimating a threat of some kind, or even underestimating our ability to cope with the anxiety. So seeking help when the anxiety is excessive, when it's persistent, but also when it impairs our functioning. So affecting sleep, work, relationships, right? When we're having panic attacks, also a reason to seek clinical help. And if we're avoiding things, so we're limiting our life because we're avoiding driving, going out, etc., that is time to kind of seek that clinical help, that clinical support. Also, clinically speaking, there are different types of anxiety and different things we look at or can diagnose. Generalized anxiety disorder happens to be, you know, the number one thing, but also panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, social phobias. They're also health anxiety, anxiety when it comes to procedures or health diagnosis or anticipation of getting results of tests and things. So those types of anxiety, um, again, great reason to get support, to get help, cognitive behavioral therapy, exposure therapy, those are sort of the two number one types of therapy to help with anxiety. Also, I'm gonna throw in EMDR if you're going through a traumatic experience, can also help with anxiety. And with EMDR, oftentimes we look at the past, we look at the present, and we look at future anxiety. So that's where EMDR can be super helpful. And in thinking about anxiety further, that it's not just in our head, it is a whole body physiological state that happens, right? That mind, body both saying, I feel anxious. And it often is our mind trying to keep us safe. And our work specifically is to teach it when you actually are. So helping you differentiate between, okay, this is healthy anxiety and this is unhealthy anxiety. So a quick mini tool, and this is a nervous system sort of regulation tool. And some of you have may have heard it before, but it's very easy. Um, and I teach all of my patients who come in with anxiety or anxiety symptoms and who go through any type of trauma treatment with me. I teach them this grounding technique. And the way that I teach it is simply you hold up your hand. Your hand, you know, you have five fingers on your hand. So when you look at your hand, the first thing is five. What are five things you can see around you? Then next, you go down to four. So you're looking at four things you can touch around you. So you start out with five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear around you, two things you can smell around you, and one thing that you can taste around you. So if you're looking at your hand, think five, four, three, two, one. And if you can't remember the order of seeing, you know, touch here, just remember it has to do with your senses. So activate those senses and think five, four, three, two, one. Lastly, our sense of smell is one of the best grounding tools that we can do. So, what I tell my clients is if there is a scent that is relaxing to you, if there is a scent that just makes you feel good inside, when you're feeling anxious, take a deep breath and breathe in that scent. Actually smell it. Um, so essential oils can be great for this because you just put it on a little cotton ball and just sort of breathe it in, take some deep breaths. That can really help ground and regulate um the nervous system. Tatiano, I'm gonna toss it over to you for your mini tool.

SPEAKER_00 20:43

Yeah, well, I love I love the 5432 one. I think it's such a good tool and technique. The senses always just, I think just in general, if you can remember to go back to your senses um in those moments, um, especially when feeling anxious, can be super, super helpful. I know the other one that I often share with clients too is a sense of taste in throwing something sour or tart in to just kind of pause some of that nervous system dysregulation, hopefully giving you a moment to try and just catch your breath then at that point, too. So, but all cool and wonderful things that we're talking about in terms of helping with it. So, my mini tool for the day is we're gonna use the acronym wait. Um, so this is we're gonna just really more acknowledge and respond to maybe what's happening in the moment if we're feeling anxious. So, W, what am I worried will happen? A, am I in danger right now or am I uncomfortable right now? I think it's really important to reference, like if we're feeling unsafe, then obviously we want to remove ourselves from unsafe situations um and get ourselves to safety. But oftentimes when we're feeling anxious, we're generally not unsafe sometimes in those moments. There's truly fear, then and that's that's rational and appropriate. Um, the next one is I information or support I need is what might you be needing in that moment? And then tiny next step I can take is so keeping in mind what is something, an actionable item that you can do to maybe help you in that moment based off of what you need. So any last thoughts though, before we wrap up all of this, super helpful. Um, I think to understand a little bit about what anxiety is.

SPEAKER_01 22:35

Nope, no last thoughts for me. I think, you know, we we all experience it and being able to manage it, we absolutely can until we can't. And then recognizing, okay, I can't handle it anymore. I I need some support, I need some help. And as a clinician, I think just highlighting that that it is okay to ask for help.

SPEAKER_00 23:00

Definitely it's okay to ask for help. And what I will say, especially with anxiety in particular, I mean, there are definitely other tools that we've mentioned throughout different episodes, but I think in particular with anxiousness, if you are able to engage in a practice of mindfulness or meditation or the grounding techniques to do it even when your body is calm, it's also going to be a lot easier to do these tools when you're feeling elevated, activated, escalated, whatever word we want to put on them as they're coming in. Um, so just something to keep in mind in that respect is try all these out, even if you're not feeling anxious anyway. Just kind of see what comes up for you. So uh in the next episode, we'll explore pride, what it is, and how it shows up in the body. So thank you so much for being here today and listening in. If this episode helped, consider subscribing and sharing it with someone who could use better words for what they feel. And we'll catch you on the next episode. Have a good day, everyone. Bye.